Maybe winning for you, is just coming off the block and getting wet.Brief Summary of Book: Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown Sometimes winning is doing the really brave thing. Sometimes winning is not coming in first. Or when you choose to start talking to people instead of about people.
It’s going to be about the subtler moments, like when you choose to have an uncomfortable conversation with the boss, instead of ignoring the issue. Sometimes your version of “winning” isn’t going to be about the race itself. Sharing a story about a swimming race her daughter feared not winning (or barely making it through), Brene highlights the courage that is needed simply to show up some days. The research participants in her studies that had the ability to really lean into joy had only one variable in common, they practiced gratitude. She says we must find ways to “just do the joyful thing”. To experience more joy requires a conscious choice then, to show up for it, to practice it, to allow it to become more familiar. As a consequence, we try to “dress rehearse” tragedy to feel better prepared.
We’re so afraid that if we let ourselves feel joy, something will come and take that away from us and we’ll be hit with pain, trauma, and loss. Which is why challenging those thoughts becomes so important.īrene says that joy is the most vulnerable human emotion. Psychologists suggest this overemphasis causes people to spiral into all the potential disasters, triggering our body’s natural fight or flight response. Often mental and emotional challenges like anxiety and stress stem from focusing on what could go wrong, rather than seeing what is already working well. The pathway, of course, is through vulnerability, and “having the courage to show up when you can’t control the outcome”. Yet what the data has also shown is that there are core practices that people can engage in to overcome these, and to live a wholehearted life. There are many challenges that face people personally and professionally. And the recurring theme across all the research remains: choosing courage over comfort matters a great deal. If summarizing 20 years of research and over 400,000 data points could possibly be done in a little over an hour, Brene does so artfully in the Netflix special.
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